Videos are the Reason

I had gone to buy tickets for Ghajini & to pay my mobile bills. After the job, I could have roamed around Vashi, just to spend my time, but instead I was approaching home. The reason - I wanted to masturbate by watching that BDSM video. I dint have so much of an urge to do it - but somehow I was pulled because of the dominating factor. After reaching home, I thought of diverting myself by watching TV. But again, since that was what I came home, I went to do my job. I thought of downloading first, but then I couldn't control. So I started to watch the spitting video.

Suddenly I realised, after having an erection, that I had got a nice & hard erection. My concept of ED was wrong. I thought I was having ED since at times I do not get a proper erection.

I then concluded that having a hard  nice one, not only depends on the physical / sexual health of a person, but also on the mood & state of mind of the person. In my case, it was domination & degradation. Somehow I get the feeling that my negative attitude towards sexuality is again rising. I believe the videos are one of the major causes, since without watching the video (especially the spitting ones), I may not had an erection OR I would have not got the interest of masturbating in the first place.

Since these videos are responsible for my bad  behaviour, I take a firm decision of moving it out of my PC tomorrow. I am not that strong to shift delete those stuffs & hence I will have to write it on DVDs and store it in my cupboard.

This way I will be able to prevent "Instant Accessibilty" and hence avoid any future harm to my health / sexuality.