Journalling is a very petinent part of our lives. It actually helps a person to learn each and every part of his life and consequently to improvise himself. I have been trying for quite a long time, but due to disinterest, I have been postponing it.
But somehow, due to my 'tendency' towards writing my daily journal, I have experienced problems / absence of writing medium.
I had initially thought of maintaining a blog, then a word file, then a text, diary, paper, mobile, etc. With each I had some aversions / problems, because of which I was unable to complete my journal of a particular day.
The advantages & disadvantages of each of the methods have been tabulated (in Google Docs)
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pWE7_3gm5QAnR0LX_HSW-Rg
Since these problems are inherent, I have decided to write each & everywhere, wherever possible, since writing is very important - to get a proper understanding of myself.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
23rd Dec Monday
Today I still had a bad day. The reasons:
1) Woke up at 8
2) Congested Bowel
3) Negative Attitude towards my father.
4) Four doses of Tobacco
5) Masturbation
As always my list of drawbacks remains unchanged with no improvement.
--
Update:
In a drowsy & half-concious state, I masturbated & destroyed my sleep. Later I started to fiddle with my mobile, and fixed the GPRS problem. I was awake the whole night and slept at 6.
1) Woke up at 8
2) Congested Bowel
3) Negative Attitude towards my father.
4) Four doses of Tobacco
5) Masturbation
As always my list of drawbacks remains unchanged with no improvement.
--
Update:
In a drowsy & half-concious state, I masturbated & destroyed my sleep. Later I started to fiddle with my mobile, and fixed the GPRS problem. I was awake the whole night and slept at 6.
Challenges
A nice article on Challenges & its impact on Humanity has been articulated in the speaking tree. It is a nice motivator, and gives a nice approach to problems in my life (reflects positive attitude).
Its a great approach to improvise & succeed in my life.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Videos are the Reason
I had gone to buy tickets for Ghajini & to pay my mobile bills. After the job, I could have roamed around Vashi, just to spend my time, but instead I was approaching home. The reason - I wanted to masturbate by watching that BDSM video. I dint have so much of an urge to do it - but somehow I was pulled because of the dominating factor. After reaching home, I thought of diverting myself by watching TV. But again, since that was what I came home, I went to do my job. I thought of downloading first, but then I couldn't control. So I started to watch the spitting video.
Suddenly I realised, after having an erection, that I had got a nice & hard erection. My concept of ED was wrong. I thought I was having ED since at times I do not get a proper erection.
I then concluded that having a hard nice one, not only depends on the physical / sexual health of a person, but also on the mood & state of mind of the person. In my case, it was domination & degradation. Somehow I get the feeling that my negative attitude towards sexuality is again rising. I believe the videos are one of the major causes, since without watching the video (especially the spitting ones), I may not had an erection OR I would have not got the interest of masturbating in the first place.
Since these videos are responsible for my bad behaviour, I take a firm decision of moving it out of my PC tomorrow. I am not that strong to shift delete those stuffs & hence I will have to write it on DVDs and store it in my cupboard.
This way I will be able to prevent "Instant Accessibilty" and hence avoid any future harm to my health / sexuality.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Wow......Nice Blogging Tool
I had installed this software, long time back. And after several tries, I gave up of blogging through this tool. But finally, after hoping that my ISP must have removed the blockage it initially did, I tried, and it worked out.
So here is it, my first post from the less well known Microsoft tool -- Windows Live Writer
Although I do not blog regularly (sort of saying I actually do not blog), I will try my best to keep my life online, so as to keep a record of what I doing daily.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Weight loss - unintentional
Definition:
Unintentional weight loss is a decrease in body weight that is not voluntary. In other words, you did not try to loss the weight by dieting or exercising.
Alternative Names:
Loss of weight
Common Causes:
There are many causes of unintentional weight loss. Some are listed below:
- AIDS
- Cancer
- Depression
- Diarrhea that is chronic (lasts a long time)
- Drugs, including amphetamines, chemotherapeutic agents, laxative abuse, and thyroid medications
- Drug abuse
- Eating disorders, including anorexia nervosa and bulimia
- Hyperthyroidism
- Infection
- Loss of appetite
- Malnutrition
- Manipulative behavior (in children)
- Painful mouth sores , mouth braces, or a loss of teeth that prevent you from eating normally
- Smoking
Note: This list may not be all inclusive
- Review Date: 1/22/2007
- Reviewed By: Benjamin W. Van Voorhees, MD, MPH, Assistant Professor of Medicine and Pediatrics, The University of Chicago, Chicago, IL. Review provided by VeriMed Healthcare Network.
Monday, August 11, 2008
10 things that money can't buy
1. Family and friends
The greenbacks won't bring you any closer to your family if you are far too busy earning them. Nor will they guarantee your family understands you at all. (Mummy's cooking is a sub-group in this 'things you can't buy anywhere' list.)
There are exceptions to this. You might just pay off irritating in-laws to stay out of your hair, or order a hit on them. But in the normal course...
With friends, it works the same way, only more so. If your wealth draws them, they aren't real. If they don't stay, or your life has no place for them, you are on your own. With real friends, you've almost got it made.
2. Home
Get married, start a family, have kids. Will they grow up into fine people? Have you got the hang of father/motherhood? Is your home really your castle, a cocoon of comfort? Or is it just a house with people in it? The card really stops here.
3. Happiness
Alright, cliched, but it gets truer as the years pass. There is always something missing whether you are on the beach at Algarve or adding the newest antique wood furniture to your collection. If you can't get at the root of it, everything you can get is merely a narcotic.
4. Peace
Here is the big one, ever since they started asking smart questions to beauty contestants. The small peace is inside your head and that is elusive enough to come by, for which you have antacids and Ketorol, which only push it away for another day. Also think world peace and other big matters. What if they nuke the city? Kidding.
5. Immortality
If you can make it for three decades on top of the Forbes list, that is a measure of fame. But to be truly immortal requires other things, other ways of striving. Ever wondered how some dirt-poor hardscrabble guys have instant recall value centuries afterwards? And literal immortality is yet several pages farther in human civilisation's sci-fi book. Best you can do is get a ticket on Sir Richard Branson's [Images] space taxi.
6. Respect
You can smirk at the poor ants down below on the street, but they will pull faces behind your back if you are the sort who is perpetually asking for it. Dignity is the most fragile of public possessions. And God help you if they know about the skeletons in your closet or that you were called Stinky as a kid. This is one asset you really need to work on all the time to earn...
7. Talent
Another cliched, misused, misunderstood word, like creativity, and maybe no one knows what it is anymore, but you are either born with it or not. No way you can get a bill of sale on this one. What you do with it is of course your business. History has been very frequently marked with astonishing examples of creativity outdoing... well, money and everything else. Possibly the best example is Lenoardo da Vinci and a certain portrait of a woman. He took 16 years to paint it, did not bother to name it, packed it with himself wherever he travelled in Europe, refused to sell it to kings and counts. It was ultimately sold by his assistant after he died. Someone down the line decided to call it the Mona Lisa [Images].
At the other end of the example is Vincent Van Gogh. All that talent and he sold just one painting of the nearly thousand he made, struggling with poverty all along. Didn't make a difference either way: in 1990, his Portrait of Dr Gachet went under the hammer for a current equivalent of $ 136.1 million, making it the fourth most expensive painting ever sold.
8. Health
Sure healthcare costs being the way they are, you need all the money you can lay your hands on when it comes to facing the bills and pills and the doctor scaring you with a dozen different possible diseases you have never heard about. But, viewed sanely, a good efficient treatment is not that much of a substitute for a good healthy life. Isn't it better not to need healthcare in the first place?
9. Love
It matters, that little empty feeling when you are sitting with a Sauvignon Blanc (for choice) on your balcony on a Saturday evening and twenty sober thoughts in your head, and no one to tell them to. That feeling of intense loneliness can neither be bought off, papered over or told to keep quiet and leave the room. Someone says, "Money can't buy love, but with all the other things it can, I'll give love a miss." Your call. You still have the Sauvignon Blanc...
10. Character
In case it matters. It is a sneaky creature, goes by other strange names like virtue and righteousness and at one time, if we remember reading correctly, a certain generation used to call it "true wealth". We don't really know whether it is around in these times but if you are looking to have it, it has to come from within. Or some such thing...
Meanwhile, enjoy what you have, but as John Buchan says, "Sit easy on your comforts."
The greenbacks won't bring you any closer to your family if you are far too busy earning them. Nor will they guarantee your family understands you at all. (Mummy's cooking is a sub-group in this 'things you can't buy anywhere' list.)
There are exceptions to this. You might just pay off irritating in-laws to stay out of your hair, or order a hit on them. But in the normal course...
With friends, it works the same way, only more so. If your wealth draws them, they aren't real. If they don't stay, or your life has no place for them, you are on your own. With real friends, you've almost got it made.
2. Home
Get married, start a family, have kids. Will they grow up into fine people? Have you got the hang of father/motherhood? Is your home really your castle, a cocoon of comfort? Or is it just a house with people in it? The card really stops here.
3. Happiness
Alright, cliched, but it gets truer as the years pass. There is always something missing whether you are on the beach at Algarve or adding the newest antique wood furniture to your collection. If you can't get at the root of it, everything you can get is merely a narcotic.
4. Peace
Here is the big one, ever since they started asking smart questions to beauty contestants. The small peace is inside your head and that is elusive enough to come by, for which you have antacids and Ketorol, which only push it away for another day. Also think world peace and other big matters. What if they nuke the city? Kidding.
5. Immortality
If you can make it for three decades on top of the Forbes list, that is a measure of fame. But to be truly immortal requires other things, other ways of striving. Ever wondered how some dirt-poor hardscrabble guys have instant recall value centuries afterwards? And literal immortality is yet several pages farther in human civilisation's sci-fi book. Best you can do is get a ticket on Sir Richard Branson's [Images] space taxi.
6. Respect
You can smirk at the poor ants down below on the street, but they will pull faces behind your back if you are the sort who is perpetually asking for it. Dignity is the most fragile of public possessions. And God help you if they know about the skeletons in your closet or that you were called Stinky as a kid. This is one asset you really need to work on all the time to earn...
7. Talent
Another cliched, misused, misunderstood word, like creativity, and maybe no one knows what it is anymore, but you are either born with it or not. No way you can get a bill of sale on this one. What you do with it is of course your business. History has been very frequently marked with astonishing examples of creativity outdoing... well, money and everything else. Possibly the best example is Lenoardo da Vinci and a certain portrait of a woman. He took 16 years to paint it, did not bother to name it, packed it with himself wherever he travelled in Europe, refused to sell it to kings and counts. It was ultimately sold by his assistant after he died. Someone down the line decided to call it the Mona Lisa [Images].
At the other end of the example is Vincent Van Gogh. All that talent and he sold just one painting of the nearly thousand he made, struggling with poverty all along. Didn't make a difference either way: in 1990, his Portrait of Dr Gachet went under the hammer for a current equivalent of $ 136.1 million, making it the fourth most expensive painting ever sold.
8. Health
Sure healthcare costs being the way they are, you need all the money you can lay your hands on when it comes to facing the bills and pills and the doctor scaring you with a dozen different possible diseases you have never heard about. But, viewed sanely, a good efficient treatment is not that much of a substitute for a good healthy life. Isn't it better not to need healthcare in the first place?
9. Love
It matters, that little empty feeling when you are sitting with a Sauvignon Blanc (for choice) on your balcony on a Saturday evening and twenty sober thoughts in your head, and no one to tell them to. That feeling of intense loneliness can neither be bought off, papered over or told to keep quiet and leave the room. Someone says, "Money can't buy love, but with all the other things it can, I'll give love a miss." Your call. You still have the Sauvignon Blanc...
10. Character
In case it matters. It is a sneaky creature, goes by other strange names like virtue and righteousness and at one time, if we remember reading correctly, a certain generation used to call it "true wealth". We don't really know whether it is around in these times but if you are looking to have it, it has to come from within. Or some such thing...
Meanwhile, enjoy what you have, but as John Buchan says, "Sit easy on your comforts."
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